Don't let the barriers you have built to define who you are blind you from appreciating the unfamiliar.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Meatloaf - I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)

Jim Steinman is the king of the overly dramatic, epic ballad. He outdoes "Total Eclipse of the Heart" in length and campyness. This album version of the song is actually 12 minutes long.

The video version is cut down to less than 8 minutes, but its jammed pack with ridiculous costumes and nonsensical symbolism. The video is a mix between Phantom of the Opera, Beauty and the Beast, and a romance novel. Meatloaf plays the Beast/Phantom, pining after the Beauty/Christine, who apparently is having an elicit affair with herself. Then for some unknown reason, the police break in. The couple sort of hug and Meatloaf turns in a man. Just about when the evil detective swoops in with his coppers, the couple escapes on a motorcycle.

The best part, the music video is directed by Michael Bay. Yes Michael Bay of Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, and Transformers: travesty 1, 2 and soon to be 3. The man who told his script writers not to write action scenes, but instead just write "Blow Stuff Up" and he would fill in the blanks. Michael Bay's schlocky, incoherent, style has dominated action films for the past decade. Using choppy clips and close-ups of fast action, the audience is fooled into believing something substantial is going on. There is no need for detail or continuity because it is all just a blurry mess of pixels. However, with Avatars intricately crafted world and meticulously constructed action scenes, Michael Bay's style of action is hopefully on its way out.

Thankfully, there is none of that in this video. Instead the schlock is endearing and you can't help but yell out the lyrics in an operatic voice.


On yet another side note, this song is famously misunderstood. The grand question: What is the thing that Meatloaf won't do? This song has puzzled listeners and inspired millions to speculate what weird sex act Meatloaf wouldn't perform for love.

The answer is actually in the lyrics. He says the things we won't do in the line before he says "And I would do anything for love." So, for the record, here are all the things that Meatloaf won't do (for love)

1. He'll never forget the way you feel right now
2. He'll never forgive himself if you and him don't go all the way tonight
3. He'll never do it better than he does it with you
4. He'll never stop dreaming of you every night of his life
5. He'll never see that it's time to move on
6. He'll never, sooner or later, be screwing around

I guess instead of avoiding some weird sex act, he is going to develop a creepy obsession with you and never leave you alone. Share/Bookmark

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